Sunday, July 31, 2005

Sunday Final

The mood today started out grim. After our friends Stella and Les Stricke came by things brightened immeasurably. Many people came out to see us today and we enjoyed seeing all of them. Dr. Stricke is my favorite lung doctor. Just so everyone is clear: Dr. Stricke is a family friend who came by at Mom's request to help us understand Judah's situation. He is not Judah's primary physician, nor is he Judah's pulmonologist, but he's a great guy and he explained things to us in a way that we had not yet understood. He gave us a reason to hope for Judah's recovery. Still, we are on an emotional roller-coaster here, but it is a far better ride now than it was on Friday. Perhaps an ember of hope can be fanned into a flame of good fortune. Tomorrow we will see Dr. Foreman and Dr. Dunst and we will begin to know more.
Judah is still restful and his oxygen level has been turned down to 56% from an earlier 62% This is good news as it means that he is requiring less and less oxygen from the ventilator in order to maintain a satisfactory blood/oxygen saturation level.
I'm sending Mom off to the hotel so that she can get a decent night's sleep. I'll take the evening shift tonight with Judah. The family will be back here together in the morning. Thank you everyone for your wonderful notes and prayers.

Hope

Dr. Les Stricke took a good hard look at Judah today and spent some considerable time talking to his other doctor. He explained that the blog was a bit misleading, if not misinformed about Judah's condition. While Judah's lungs have suffered some from the chemo and radiation, it doesn't seem to be the cause of Judah's current distress. Judah is suffering an acute inflammation of the lungs. This is causing his bleeding. Today, however, Judah has not been bleeding. Dr. Stricke and Judah's other doctor look at this as a promising sign. The lungs CAN regenerate from the situation that Judah's lungs are currently in. While this news is so unbelievable to us who have been laboring under the impression that Judah's lungs would not recover, we are warned that it doesn't mean that Judah WILL recover. Sometimes the bleeding starts just as spontaneously as it stops. Still, the thought that Judah could conceivably recover some normal function is beyond exciting.
I can not tell you how relieved I am to learn that Judah's lungs aren't suffering from severe scarring or fibrosis. His other organs are healthy and he seems to be enduring the transplant well, despite this acute reaction.
Maybe the praying works. We are told that it is a day to day situation. We will post as we know more.
Love from us all.

Sunday Morning

Judah is still in the same restful state he's been in. I like to think that I saw him respond when I was talking to him this morning. Mom has been with him all night. First of all, we'd like to thank you Lisa, Josh and Michael. I don't know how you found us, but it was a wonderful sight. Also, a special thank you to the Nemetzes. Truly unnecessary but wonderfully welcome.
Judah's favorite nurses from the BMT unit just came in for a visit. They are so sweet and wonderful to him, and to my mom. We've been very fortunate to have met some wonderful people here at City of Hope.
Mom has asked one of our close friends who is a pulmonologist to come in and take a look at Judah on our behalf. Judah made it clear that he wants every aggressive option to be taken in order to sustain his life.
For those who wish to visit Judah, now may be a good time to do so. Please prepare yourself to see Judah like this. The ICU has very strict visiting rules, and we don't want to make ourselves unwelcome here. Please keep your visits short, 5 minutes or less. It's easy to forget that Judah is still a transplant patient, so please remember to wear a mask, and refrain from touching him.
Duarte is easy to get to by freeway:
From the Valley: 134 E to 210 E. exit Buena Vista. Go straight until Buena Vista intersection and make a Right. Go two blocks to Duarte Rd and make a Left. Hospital is 3/4 miles down.
From the 10. Take 10 East to 605 North. Go 3 miles until 210 junction. Take 210 West for 1 exit to Buena Vista. Make Left off freeway until the first streetlight, Buena Vista Intersection. Make Left again onto BVista. Make another Left on Duarte Rd. Hospital 3/4 mi. down.
Judah is in the new hospital, 3rd floor ICU room 12. We will be here all day.
Best regards to all.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Judah is still resting comfortably. Mom is hard of hearing and the night nurse is too. Everytime mom talks to Judah the nurse says, "What?" Mom, unsure what the nurse is saying, says, "Huh?" We like to talk to Judah while he is under, because he told us last time that he remembers certain things we were saying to him. We try and orient him as to the time and the day. He is so deeply sedated this time that he doesn't really register any response.
We will post again tomorrow, hopefully after we've heard from one of his doctors. Mom will stay here tonight. The nurse tells us that Judah had two visitors while we were gone. Please let us know who you are.

Thanks to everyone for the endless offers of help. If we have a specific need or a general one, we will be sure to let you know. In the meantime, we want to make sure that people have a means of contacting us or Judah via email. We don't have access to his email, so if you would like to send something privately (by private I mean not through the blog) please send it to IVORYTRUST@AOL.COM which is an email shared by the entire White family.
Judah is in a deep sleep right now looking reasonably comfortable. He has a very kind nurse, Eva, who is watching out for him. They are watching him for the next several days to see if he stabilizes. My mom will let us know when she thinks that visitors will be able to come.
Best from the White Family

Latest

Judah is resting quietly now with the ventilator. He is too heavily sedated to be responsive but we hope he can hear us. Alissa is coming in later this evening and Grandpa will also be here soon. Mom and I have reserved a nearby hotel room so that we will all have a place to crash and shower nearby. Grandpa will be well pleased because they serve complimentary cocktails here between 5 and 7 pm.
I honestly do not know what to say about Judah right now except that he is still fighting. They are still treating him with steroids in the hope that they can recover some degree of lung function. I was with him last night when we were discussing contingency plans with his nurse and he made it clear that if intubation were absolutely necessary, he would consent to it. "I want to live," he told her.

Judah was taken down to the ICU and intubated again. He was alone with mom while I went to the house when he began to beg for breath and bleed from his lungs. His pulmonologist came in and Judah asked if it would hurt to be intubated, and then asked if he would remember anything. Dr. Dunst said no and Judah gave him the 'thumbs up' sign. Moments later he was in the ICU and on a ventilator. When I returned to the hospital I saw that his shoes were on his bed and his room was empty. I ran down to the ICU and found him there with mom and his nurses. Judah's eyes were open but he wasn't looking at me, or anything. His eyes were just open.

Morning

Judah gave us a terrible scare last night. He had fallen asleep while he was alone and the oxygen mask had fallen off of him. He panicked when came to and called out for a code blue. This meant that the entire floor came bursting into his room. He was okay though, he just lost his oxygen mask for a few moments.
Judah knows he is not well, but he doesn't know what the doctors know. Since the beginning he has asked to be shielded from other people's opinions and expectations. This will enable him to keep up the fight, and frankly, this is what sometimes can turn the tide.
I know many people will want to see Judah in the next few days, but it is not helpful right now. He had a surprise visit from Dave and Stacie Nemetz last night that was beautifully timed. Judah was lucid, breathing easily, and awake. He wanted to know why they turned out at 11 pm on a Friday night. Then he got a call from his friend Alex in Chicago. Again, Judah wanted to know why Al would call at 11 pm our time. I told him that I posted on the blog that he is not feeling well.
The next few days are going to be difficult for all of us. Thank God mom can sleep while standing up. Judah seems to like it when he opens his eyes and sees one of us nearby.
Judy Eber, Janet and Rina are helping take care of the dog. I doubt that my mom will leave the hospital but I will try to get out a little today and visit the dog, pick up supplies etc.
I wish I had more news to give, but it has been a long night and I am tired. I will keep posting throughout the day.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Judah is gravely ill. His lungs are failing him rapidly. His doctors do not expect that his lungs will be able to recover from the severe damage inflicted by years of chemo.
Mom and I are with him, and we will stay with him. Iss is flying home from New York tomorrow. Please be patient and understand that we trying to make sense out of Judah's sudden deterioration. Judah is struggling mightily with his breathing. He is giving us all that he has.
In the event that there is sudden bad news, everyone should know how much this blog has meant to Judah, Iss, Mom and me. We've read Judah the responses everyday. It is a highlight for us all. He is well loved, and he knows it.
Please say a prayer for Judah tonight. If anyone has earned divine intervention, it is him.

Judah's Heart, Lungs, and a Really Bad Joke

Last night Mom took the swing shift. I spoke to her this morning. She tells me that Judah slept a couple of hours through the night, albeit fitfully. For those who are wondering how Mom slept, she says that she could sleep comfortably on a picket fence. I spent the night with the dog at the house. When Mom is away, Pixie will not sleep in her bed. She sat up all evening by the door, like Argus, waiting for Mom to return. This morning, I found her on the sofas which can be back-breakers to sleep on.
Judah had an EKG yesterday. Dr. Foreman says that his heart and other organs look strong. Apparently, everything is going well except for Judah's lungs. The doctors seem unimpressed with Judah's lack of sleep.
Nurse joke-of-the-day: Why do nurses always carry red pens? They often have to draw blood.
What are you, an audience or an oil painting?

Thursday, July 28, 2005

The Specifics

The following is just my opinion COMPLETELY UNSUBSTANTIATED BY MEDICAL FACT:
I'm really worried about Judah in the short term. His steroids so completely prevent him from meaningful rest that I am afraid that his body will suffer complete exhaustion. That doesn't sound so bad, one might think, because it will force him into rest. I worry that his steroids will inhibit rest even at that stage. It is very painful and difficult to see Judah when he is like this. He descends into elaborate hallucinations that blur reality with dreams. He rings for the nurse and when she comes in, he asks her to sit down with him for the night, explaining that he was ripping open a packet of handiwipes but now they are disappearing. Finally, he catches on that he is disoriented. Every word is interrupted by a gasp for air, giving his speech a frantic quality. I have a hard time understanding why it is so frightening to see him like this. I sit up in my chair and watch him quietly for about 40 minutes, paying attention to his actions. He is suspicious of me. He tries to engage me in conversation but I don't resond. I just watch. His fingers hover over the pink bins that surround him. Each bin is filled with crap; cups, bottles, candies, books, the newspaper, tissue boxes. His fingers twitch in anticipation, like a gunman in the old westerns before a shootout. His eyes dart back in forth, searching for something that is either out of place, or that could be rearranged. He picks up two styrofoam cups, unstacks them, restacks them and puts them back in the pink bin. He rings for his nurse. She comes in. All he wants to know is if he has a packet of Capri Sun juice left on the table. I tell him that I can help him with things like that, but he snaps back for me to stay out of it. I get up, slip my shoes on and tell him that I am going to go to the bathroom. I go instead to the lobby, sit down in the sofa and fall asleep. I can't bear to be in there right now. After a few minutes, I lumber back in the room hoping to find Judah passed out. He is as peppy as ever and it's still only a few minutes past three. He announces that he wants to take a nap, but he doesn't. He can't! I don't care what the steroids are doing FOR him, I hate what the steroids are doing TO him.
At 5:30 I get up for the last time. I spend a few minutes with Judah discussing the night. He is surprised to hear about his behavior, yet he insists that he is coherent. I ask him why he won't take the Ativan that the nurses and doctors keep suggesting. It will help him relax and sleep. He ends the discussion by saying that he doesn't need it, he doesn't like it, and he will not take it. I wonder at what point he will relinquish control over what medications are given to him. I hate to say it, but I fantasize about slipping some Ativan into his IV bags. I wish the nurses would do it for me. He needs to sleep. At 6 am, I leave for the day, hoping that this will be the last time that they have to give him steroids.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Nightcap

Judah is still blabbing away. He asked that I come over and spend the night again. I haven't had much time to see what's going on with him, but his nurse says he seems less agitated tonight. I think he would be very annoyed if he knew that I've been describing him like this. He is still in his chair, and he seems to be coughing less.
He's going to take a nap. Please, God, let him sleep so I can sleep.
Family portrait time:
Mom doesn't like the photos of her so I will wait until I get her approval. Here's me, Iss, Grandpa and Pixie. Judah is falling asleep as I am writing this -actually midsentence blabbing about something I can't understand.

Morning Edition

Judah took off almost 6lbs of fluid in the past day. Dr. Foreman came in and said he thought Judah is looking much better today than yesterday. Judah's drugs are still making him manic and weird but what can you do? Oddly enough, there is little emphasis on letting him sleep. The drugs keep him so hopped up that he can't sleep. Well, he sends his congratulations to our friend Yonatan Zevit who just got engaged in Israel.

Some Party

Perhaps I've been painting too rosy a picture of Judah's condition lately, it's hard to tell. It's 12 midnight and Judah and I just watched The Family Guy together on TV. It's fun to share silly things together that make us both laugh. Judah fell asleep in his chair for a few minutes. He has been confined to a chair for the past few days because his breathing is so challenged. He is afraid to lie down in bed because it might start him on a coughing fit, so he spends all day in the chair by the window. He has promised his nurses all day that he will let them weigh him, but he has put it off until now because it is so difficult for him to move, even from the chair to the adjacent bed. The bed is also a scale.
He just went from chair to bed for a quick weigh-in and back to the chair. He is exhausted. He fell asleep instantly after getting back in the chair. He won't stop talking even though it is exhausting him. I keep telling him to be quiet and breathe. His breathing apparatus is on all the time now. He forgets to shut up and starts talking again. To anyone - the nurses, the RTs, me, himself. I remind him that it is the steroids and he shakes his head in agreement and shuts up again. His eyes roll back into his head and his lids close halfway revealing just the whites of his eyes.
He now likes to swish and spit with unsweetened Lipton Ice Tea. It keeps him moist of mouth and he seems to like the taste. Eating is still slow in coming but it is coming. Whatever slack Judah leaves in the eating department, Mom and I make up for. She spent the entire day here with Judah as his condition has been so erratic. He had a serious bout with shortness of breath today that caught everyone off guard, but he is more relaxed now. I'll sleep over with him tonight. The nurse came in and chided us for not being asleep already. Judah says it feels like we're having a slumber party.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Last night Judah was as excited for Mom's birthday present as she was. We gave her a Canon Digital Elph camera. Not many people know this about mom, but she used to love to take pictures. About twenty years ago, Dad bought her a tiny state of the art 110 camera with interchangable lenses that she used to tote around everywhere in an ugly red bag. Like Beta to VHS, however, 110 film lost the technology battle. Mom never could quite adjust to the rigors of 35mm. But digital! Look out. In less time than it takes a 55 year old to find her bifocals and program a blinking VCR, Mom was snapping pictures of things like the wall, the crack between the wall and the floor, the clock on the wall, the floor, etc.
Keep checking for actual (not reenactments, but actual) photos taken by Mom Arbus.
Judah (I swear if anyone tells him that I am writing this...) is so full of steroids that it is making him ancy. The good news is that he is animated and seemingly energetic when he talks. The bad news is that he is so exhausted from being energetic that he gets winded easily. Just a basic conversation is sometimes difficult. His lungs are still struggling. He keeps his oxygen mask on all the time. His doctors have prescribed TOTAL bed rest. Little things are now subject to his keenest scrutiny. When one of the many cards that he received yesterday (thank you all) is accidentally tilted slightly askew on his bulletin board, Judah demands that it be tilted back into correct position. Nothing escapes his eye. We are still waiting for his breathing to return to normal, for his steroids to be reduced, for his walking to resume and for him to come home.
MORE GOOD NEWS:
Judah is eating more and his appetite is returning. Yesterday was pancakes, Froot-Loops, and juice. Buy sugar futures NOW.

Monday, July 25, 2005

GOD BLESSED US

To The Most Wonderful Mother in the World,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!
Love,
Judah, Iss, Benji and Pix

Sunday, July 24, 2005

PIcs from July 23, 2005 taken at the New Hospital

View from the sixth floor lobby
supporting materials
grand rounds
Waving the Baton
New nursing stations
Judah's world
A little light reading
Look familiar?
Heath Bar special
Latest Look in Hospital Sartorial Style

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Are you there?

Hi All,

Judah has asked several times for stats on this website. Blogger does not provide this as far as I know. If you are reading this blog, please post a comment, a shout out, a hello it's me. Tell us where you're from and how you found out about this.

Even if you're a friend of a friend, we'd love to know more about who's here.

Mom and Jude are debating about whether or not she's going to spend the night. He's still fragile and anxious. He says, "I have to be so much stronger than I am. I want to be better." Lungs are still weak and he's on the verge of a return to ICU. They are watching him very closely. For now he is on solid bed rest. No visitors. No talking. Mara was here today and they even turned away a pregnant lady! Mom and Judah said she looks great and very happy.

I'll be signing off for a while and leave you all in the very capable hands of Benji, the other writer of these blogs. I'll be in NYC for several weeks, back end of August. --AAW

Are you there?

Hi All,

Judah has asked several times for stats on this website. Blogger does not provide this as far as I know. If you are reading this blog, please post a comment, a shout out, a hello it's me. Tell us where you're from and how you found out about this.

Even if you're a friend of a friend, we'd love to know more about who's here.

Mom and Jude are debating about whether or not she's going to spend the night. He's still fragile and anxious. He says, "I have to be so much stronger than I am. I want to be better." Lungs are still weak and he's on the verge of a return to ICU. They are watching him very closely. For now he is on solid bed rest. No visitors. No talking. Mara was here today and they even turned away a pregnant lady! Mom and Judah said she looks great and very happy.

I'll be signing off for a while and leave you all in the very capable hands of Benji, the other writer of these blogs. I'll be in NYC for several weeks, back end of August. --AAW

Friday, July 22, 2005

Good Shabbos from 6213

He's eating potatoe chips and mac and cheese. A bite of each.

When I saw him so high on wednesday it was becasue of the steroids. when they took him off, he crashed again and spent the last 36 hours sitting up in his chair with frequent coughing fits. he's coughing up blood and the chest x-ray this morning was comparable to the one last week that started the ICU episode. So he's back on the prednazone.

We did a little shabbos here and he talked at legnth about missing home, and shabbos dinner and, brace yourselves, dinner meals at camp ramah. He says it's the meds talking.

Mom is bouncing around like a little girl waiting for dinner. So we're headed out.

To the shiksa out there, you do realize this is public don't you? Love you!

Mr Ligget was back with challahs. we hadn't seen him for a while. Eli came by with a cornicopia of summer fruits.

Stay cool everyone.
AAW

Commodities Tip

Judah had a rough Thursday. He managed to eat a little though. He had a bit of chocolate puddin' and some vanilla ice cream. I also spied him sipping a diet sprite and a gatorade. Buy sugar futures now!

Commodities Tip

Judah had a rough Thursday. He managed to eat a little though. He had a bit of chocolate puddin' and some vanilla ice cream. I also spied him sipping a diet sprite and a gatorade. Buy sugar futures now!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Tears of Joy

He's up! He's up! This morning he was out of bed and sitting in his chair, greeeting me with jokes. I was so unprepared to see him up and functioning and talking I burst out crying.

He's like a 180 from Friday and days past. He even gave me one of his towels to wipe tears away and put his hand on my lap, which is HUGE if you know Judah, who's in a serious "don't touch me or anything mine" mode.

Glorious day here in City of Hope. He's smokin' an inhaler with a blue tube and lot's of opaque puffy smoke. It looks almost chic with the northern light and Duarte mountains behind his bald white head and blue plaid robe.

For the Price of a Stamp...

Dear Friends,
If you have time, please send Judah a note, a letter or a card. His spirits sometimes wane and nothing cheers one up like mail from the outside world.
The address is:
Judah White, BMT Unit, City Of Hope, Guest Services, 1500 E. Duarte Rd., Duarte CA 91010
PS, don't tell him I said so. We read him the comments, but not the blog.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Walking and Talking, Still not Eating

Mom came home saying he was feeling much better than yesterday. They walked around the floor a bit and he watched the baseball game. Even flirted with the nurses.

He tried to eat diet Jello and a Lorna Dune cookie. Was able to sip Gatorade.

Benji's friend Arvin scored a copy of Harry Potter for Judah. Mom reads him the posts everyday and it always cheers him up.

Hilda came by with a guggle. Happy birthday to Al. (It's mom's birthday on Monday. But you didn't hear it from me.)

Good night, AAW

Monday, July 18, 2005

Monday Afternoon - Out of ICU

He's out of ICU and back on the sixth floor. Still grimacing with stomach pain and the dreaded hiccups. He's sooooooooooo tired and groggy (sp?).

We met Peter's mother. Her name is Mila and she's from Tehran. She kept giving us hugs and telling us she prays for us, as we do for her son. A warm and loving lady. We're glad to know them.

I helped him unpack and Benji sorted out things like newspapers and linens. When he went to the bathroom, the O2 plug came out of the wall. Oops.

The new room is sooooooo much nicer, even so, it's another room in another hospital building and he REALLY wants to come home. I drew a sketch of the house on the white board, and re-hung some of the cards and pics you all have sent him. Dr. Nati says it's the steroids that are causing the depression. Now why they don't give him a pill for that, I don't know.

There's still some fluid on the lung and there's talk of another procedure. Dr. Forman is away and Mom wants to wait until he's back before they do anything else invasive.

Zioni was by today. Judy E, brought my mom a picnic lunch on Saturday. Hilda checks in on the house regularly and keeps us stocked with soups and brisket. Not to mention the meals we've received from Rachel and cookies from Stella. It's still hard for him to have visitors, especailly in the mornings. Your messages and support mean so much to him.

Big shout out to the relatives in Israel. Shalom Shalom Tzipura and Baruch.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

In and Out

Judah's past weekend was a remarkable one. It is a very scary thing to see a loved one on a respirator. The tubing is held in place around his mouth with a plexiglass rectangle that presses firmly against his lips to prevent air leakage. The plexiglass is held tightly in place with a series of straps that wrap around his head and cheeks. His body is straight and his head is tilted slightly back in an uncomfortable looking stretch. Every few seconds there is a mechanical hiss as the respirator forces gas into Judah's lungs. His chest rises and falls in synch with the machine. For all the world, he looks like he has no life and is just being mechanically inflated and deflated. Every few moments, he skips a breath and a very loud alarm sounds. His nurse, Lisa, taps him on the chest and yells out, "Take a deep breath Doctor White." as if he can hear her. Maybe he does. We all stand at his bedside and talk to him, telling him what is going on, what we know, and that we love him.
The nurse tries to find the right amount of Propofol to give him so that he will be conscious enough to control his breathing, yet unconscious enough to tolerate the intubation. There are restraints tied to the bed, in case Judah tries to pull his tubes out. As long as his family is with him, the restraints stay unused.
The next day, the propofol is diminished in strength to 1/3 of the original dose. Judah is sleeping, and he occasionally opens his sleepy eyes and looks around the room. The eyelids collapse back down, exhausted. His hands rise up slowly, indicating something that we can't read. He wants to say something but he doesn't have the strength to move with any kind of acuity. His hands float up from his bed, but his arms can't rise with them. We talk to him. He is able to nod yes and no, but with great difficulty. He floats back to sleep.
It's night again, and Judah is restless. He is dead set on talking with us but he can't. We ask him a series of yes and no questions, primarily to determine if he is in pain. He shrugs with his eyebrows. We tell him that it is Saturday night and that he has been on a ventilator for over 24 hours. He tries to move his head toward the window. It is a sign we wouldn't understand until the next morning. His hands float up toward his throat, but the nurse pulls it back down, afraid he is trying to yank out his tubes. He wags a finger, indicating NO, he will not pull out his tubes. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that he is trying to reach up to his head, but I don't know why. He tells us when he wants to be suctioned and the nurse is obliging. It is an ugly thing to watch, but he seems to get some relief when it is over.
Finally, Mom figures out what's wrong. Judah's mask is on too tight. The Respiratory Therapist (RT) comes in and reluctantly loosens the straps. Judah, appeased, falls back to sleep. Because he has been so restless for over an hour, the nurse increases his propofal dose by 25%. Judah sleeps pretty well throughout the night.
To watch Judah extubated is like watching a new birth. The RT and his nurse hover over him. Ten minutes earlier, his doctor cuts the propofal drip. Almost immediately, Judah begins to stir. He is still sedate, but his eyes, heavy with two days sleep, flutter open. His hands move. He gives a thumbs up sign and an okay sign. The RT speaks loudly to Judah, telling him that they need him to cough while they pull the tubes out of him. They prop him up, They simultaneously suction him and then induce coughing. Judah's body convulses as they yank the tubes out of his mouth. Like a newborn chicken hatching from it's egg, Judah is messy, curious and exhausted. He sits back, breathing on his own and tries to wipe his mouth. He insists on blowing his nose by himself, but he doesn't have the strength to hold a tissue against his face. The tragic becomes comic as Judah keeps grabbing at the kleenex that slides easily through his fingers. When the nurse or I try to hold the tissue up to him, he pulls away and insists on doing it himself.
In a few short minutes, Judah is able to ask questions. He wants to know what happened. He remembers everything up to the bronchoscopy, but not much after. I ask him if he remembers being in pain. thankfully, he says no. He remembers me telling him that it was Saturday night. He didn't believe me that it was night time, let alone a full day since he was intubated. He tried to look out the window to see if it indeed was nighttime. Other than that, he has forgotten everything. He has a brief discussion with his doctor who tells us the following:
The cytology report came back negative which indicates that Judah did not have an infection, nor did he have pneumonia. He suffered a type of inflammation that is not uncommon in people who have had lung damage due to chemo and radiation. The steroids he is on will reduce the inflammation. Generally speaking, this is really good news. We are still awaiting the results of the lung cultures, but so far, things are looking pretty good.
How Judah manages to endure this with such strength and courage is a miracle.

He's Up!

Sunday Morning - They woke him up this morning and pulled out the tube. He's alert, talking and reading the newspaper. Very surprised to have lost a day. Still in ICU.
More later. AAW

Friday, July 15, 2005

Late Night Update

As Alissa pointed out in the previous post, Judah is not quite well today. He is on a respirator for the next few days. His doctor likened putting him on a respirator to having a cast put on a broken bone. It will give his lungs a chance to rest and dry out. What his doctors do know is that his lungs are suffering from a severe inflamation. What they do not yet know is the cause of the inflamation. Cultures were taken during the bronchoscopy and it will take several days to get back the results. In the meantime, Judah is on steroids to reduce the inflamation and he is on an arsenal of antibiotics in case he is suffering a bacterial infection in the lungs.
Judah has had a long standing fear of developing pneumonia, and it is possible that this is the cause of his current troubles. He also has a long standing fear of intubation (a process of ventilating his lungs by passing a tube through his windpipe and into his trachea). In order to keep Judah intubated while his lungs are being treated, he has been sedated into a complete sleep-like state. Without the heavy sedation, the doctors fear Judah would be uncomfortable, panic, and possibly try to pull out the tubes himself. He will be reevaluated tomorrow to see if he can breathe comfortably on his own.
In the meantime, this means that he is not able to receive visitors. Some of you were hoping to see Judah this weekend, but unfortunately, those plans will have to be delayed for now.
I also expect that many of you will want to call our mom, but she will undoubtedly be exhausted. She has Alissa and me with her, as well as all of the prayers and best wishes of you all. Please be patient while Judah recovers and continue to send him your love.

Buckin' Bronco

A chest x-ray this morning indicated fluid and perhaps infection. By the afternoon, Judah had a "scope and lavage" AKA "Broncoscopy." An 8.5 mm tube was inserted down the throat under sedation and doctors were able to see the lungs up close and rinse out the phlegm.

Unfortunately the procedure left him intubated and sedated. We don't know how long, but could be through the week-end. He's in the ICU in the new hospital at COH. It will be at least three days before they get the results from the cultures.

Dr. Smith has him on a broad range of antibiotics. "You're pullin' out the big guns," Judah said before going in for the procedure.

The pulmonalogist, Mordechai Dunst, a Bob Hoskins look alike, went to Hillel, Hamilton High, bought bagels at Fred's and got haircuts by Jose the barber. For those of you in the know...

Mom is spending the night. It's a bit of a set back, but not unusual for his situation.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Address Again

For those of you who have asked about the address here, you can send Judah cards and letters to Judah White, BMT Unit, City Of Hope, Guest Services, 1500 E. Duarte Rd., Duarte CA 91010. We promise to hang them on his bulletin board.

Judah Speaks

"I'm not crabby. I'm endearingly grumpy"

Time for a new and forward-thinking descriptor. Any ideas? Let us know.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

The Trouble With Judah...

Judah's latest struggle and accomplishment: eating. This is something we all take for granted, but it's of great physical and psychological importance to Judah. He knows he can't go home until he is able to eat, but his body is still struggling with the effects of the transplant on his digestive system. Small steps become very important. Judah ate a small amount of vanilla pudding the other day, but he declared that it tasted metallic and disgusting. Apparently, one of the side effects of this procedure is a change in his taste buds. Today, he managed to eat a cracker, and he tried to work on some red jello, but he found it too sweet. I'm sorry his taste in food has changed, but I wouldn't mind if his taste in movies were to change.

Judah has a profound soft spot for really crappy movies. The worse, the better. Some of his all time favorites include, The Bachelor Party, The Party, and any movie that has any combination of the words Bachelor, Party, and/or Cheeleader in it. Right now he is working on watching MEAN GIRLS. He's tried twice and he's been unable to finish it. Although I haven't seen this film, I know it got some good reviews which may mean that it is not horrible enough a film for him to enjoy. Not to worry, next up on his pile of DVDs is DODGEBALL which I'm sure will make him happy.

We are extremely proud of Judah's continued recovery. It's still going to be a very long and painful process with some complications expected on the way, but it is heartening to see him healing a tiny bit every day.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Crabby on Steroids

In fact he was soooo crabby today I knew he was feeling better. He had enough energy to boss Mom, me and the nurses around and to mutter and stamp his feet at misplaced objects and fallen items like glasses. We toured the rose garden again and Judah took some pics of the flowers. Mom had the biggest smile wheeling him out of the double doors. Big for her, anyway.

Judy and Les took Grandpa sailing, and then Judy took grandpa out to COH to see Jude.

He's gained six lbs in three days from the steroids, and will have to resume Lasix tomorrow. On Friday they move him to the new hospital. He's asked me to help him pack.

Rumor has it a friend made a donation to COH in honor of another friend's birthday. Thank you.

Also a shout out to Christy Fallin who made a very surprise visit this afternoon.

If you sent a card it's on the wall or it the top drawer.

Regards to everyone.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

All Signs Point to...BETTER


Judah walked today again. This time he walked HIMSELF out of the ward and into the rose garden. In the garden he chose to go for a bit of a ride while Mom pushed.

We stopped in front of the synagogue...
...watched a squirrel eat a peach from the peach tree, and ran into a skunk skulking around one of the wards. Judah couldn't point his way back to the room fast enough:



Next Thursday is the opening day of the new hospital building and Judah will be transferred. He is really hoping to go home before then, but it will probably be a little too premature. There are several criteria that they check before you can leave, and they include eating and walking. While Judah is walking now, he still hasn't been able to eat. Ironically, the medicine that they gave him to help improve his stomach only comes in pill form. Judah's stomach can't yet tolerate pills. This should be interesting.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Terrible Twos




This was quite a sight. Dr. Les Eber came by today just after Judah was given a medicine that the nurse promised would make him energized enough to walk around the block and clean up his room. Judah, ever stronger than any medicine that man can create, promptly fell into a deep nap. Must've been the threat of cleaning his room that did it. Les sat down and fell off into one of his trademark naps while I snoozed in the corner. Three men sleeping like babies.

Judah promised to go for a walk today, so he roused Les and got ready to go. It's a production. He has to push his IV pole with him, find his robe, unplug things etc. Just as we opened his bedroom door, his floormate Peter strolled by with his IV pole. Peter is a great chearleader. He keeps telling Judah that walking is the most rapid way to recovery. So, he took Judah for a walk around the ward. Not once, but twice. This is really cool.
Peter is the guy on the right.








Judah gave Dr. Eber an impromptu master class on Graft Vs. Host disease (GVH). GVH differs from "rejection" in that it is the transplant that is rejecting HIM, not the other way around (as in an organ donation when the body rejects the transplant). It's sort of like the tail wagging the dog. Judah has shown the first signs of GVH according to the endoscopy. His biopsy showed that his inflammation is due to GVH and they are able to treat it. Even though he doesn't agree, I think this is good news, as it shows that the graft is taking hold.
Next week, Judah will be transferred to the new hospital building here. He will be one of the first patients to make use of the new facility. He is hoping, however, that he will be home before the new hospital opens.
Have a wonderful weekend.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

In One End, Out the Other


Judah just got out of the O.R. apparently fine. As he was being wheeled out, his floormate Peter (with his mom in tow) was being wheeled in. Judah was lucky, his scoping was of the front side. Peter, unfortunately, was getting it the other way. The two mothers hugged in the hall. Judah is still a little loopy from the anesthesia, but he'll be fine soon. Will post more as the day progresses.
Here's a picture of what the endoscope sees as it travels through the esophagus. Then again, maybe it's not. Can you identify this object?

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Colonel Mustard in the Study with a Lead Pipe

Judah asked to play a game of strategy, so I went to Wallmart to see what they had. Now I'm not making any judgements against Wallmarts, but the closest thing they had was CLUE. Here's a picture of Judah playing Clue before he realized that it requires 3 people to play.
We had a long talk with another patient here named Peter who is roughly 30 days ahead of Judah in terms of treatment. He told us that he started eating solid food around 35 days into his treatment. After that he said they look for signs of Graft Vs. Host disease (GVH). Mild GVH is apparently a good sign as it signifies some degree of activity of the new immune system (don't quote me on this, I heard it from Peter's mother). The downside is that it can sometimes be unpredictable and severe. Peter ended up with a scaley rash, but it's going away. Tomorrow will be 30 days for Judah since the transplant. We may see some rapid improvement soon.

A new Rabbi came by today to visit. She is actually a rabbinical student at HUC named Sabine Meyer. She's from Germany, and with her face mask on, she is a spitting image of Rabbi Marianne Gevertz of beloved memory. For all we know, under the mask she might look more like Dr. Stanley Gevertz, but just the same, she spent a nice time with Judah and will make a mishuberach for him.

Tomorrow will be a bit trying for Judah as he goes under for a gastric scoping. We'll let you know how it goes. In the meantime, thanks for your continued posts.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

July Fourth Hangover

Judah is feeling back to his usual self today. Today he got the go ahead to start trimming his fingernails. This is a good thing, as even Howard Hughes would have been jealous. He just trimmed one and it bounced back and smacked him in the forehead.
Judah had a busy couple of days with visitors. Thank you to everyone who came. I know it bothers him that he can't be a better host. He tires so quickly. He really perks up when we read all of the posts from his blog. He has heard from so many people that he hasn't seen in years. Even if he doesn't have a chance to respond to you, please know that we read him each and every response.
Judah wants to go for another walk this afternoon, so hopefully we'll have some more news and pictures a little later today.

Friday, July 01, 2005

(w)He Did It!



Mom worked her magic and took Judah for a walk. It was his first time out of the hospital room in over a month! This is a really big deal for Judah-watchers. We took him out to the rose garden and spent an amazing 15 minutes in the Duarte dusk. True to form, Judah couldn't help but to give driving orders to us as we pushed him in the wheelchair. After a few more minutes, Judah felt tired and we took him back, as nurses congratulated him on this big step

It's a nice place to visit but...


For those of you who have not yet been out to visit the City of Hope, you might find it interesting to know that it is actually a beautiful place. There are wide open lawns with wooden benches, a Japanese koi garden, and even an old synagogue. The shul is filled with relics from the 1950's including ledgers that record donations from around the world with the name of the donor, the year of the donation and the dollar amount. It's really neat.


Judah has not yet had a chance to venture out of his room. He has been given the green light, but he doesn't yet feel up to it. Mom is coming over shortly and she is hoping to nudge him out a little.

Will report more as the day progresses.